Vitality

The heart is a fragile thing. It hurts when it’s whole or broken. One bump and you have to scrape the shattered pieces from the ground. Too much and it bursts at the seams, exploding inside of you. Either way, it kills you. Is it worth it?

When you’re young, your parents read you fairy tales where good always prevails over evil. In these stories there are clear good guys and clear bad. The good ones are princesses and princes, pure and virtuous. The bad are witches and magicians with the abilities to manipulate their words and actions. The princes fight the magicians with their swords. The princesses fend off the witches with love (if they don’t all for the trap first). In the end, the enemies are dead and the price and princess live happily ever after.

If you’re born with the ability to do both good and bad, than what side do you belong on? Do I get the sword in my chest or the happily ever after?

If there are only good people and bad, than I am the good and the Trackers are the bad. Problem is they can disguise themselves just like the witches and magicians, and make themselves look harmless. They could be the old lady with the apple or the man promising a better life. They are everywhere and nowhere, hiding around every corner and lurking in the shadows. How do you run when you don’t know who you’re running from?

At least I’m not a helpless princess. I carry my sword in my fingers and I carry my innocence in my eyes and I may have some of my own magic up my sleeves.

Finished.

It's done. My first novel is officially done. After that long summer of thinking that I wouldn't be able to do it, that it was going to be too hard after losing what I lost, it's done. I'm so proud of myself right now. I'm so glad I could do it. I'll post a summary of it on here soon (once I write one) so that you'll actually know what it's about. Basically it's about a girl who can heal people and there is a group after her that wants to experiment on her. So she runs and starts a new life. Things get complicated obviously once a boy comes into the picture. My head is already swimming with ideas for the sequel.

I'll have to write up a query and get this baby out into the real world. Such a good feeling right now.

It's happening.

I've actually been writing the beginning of my novel these past few days. These are the pages I lost when my computer died. These are the words that have been written already and this is me finding them again and connecting this story together. I'm at the climax of the novel, and I guess I've realized that I can't write the ending until I've written the beginning. It just seems more fitting that way. So here I am, actually writing it. It's been easy to write the rest most of the time, but I've been having trouble with the beginning. I know why, we all know why. It's hard to go back and write something you've already written and lost. But I'm doing it. I can't say that it's better or worse than the original, but it doesn't matter. The original doesn't exist anywhere anymore. This is the only beginning. The first thing I'm going to do when this is done is back it up. Then I'm going to bask in it for a while and then I'm going to try and sell it. I've already got ideas spinning in my head for the sequel. Knowing me, I'll have it all written before (if anything) comes of it. But all that matters is that I've written it. All that matters is that it exists. It would be icing on the cake for it to be published.

One step at a time. First I must finish it.

Another except from Vitality

Could I be that girl? Could I live a normal life in any city I want and just be free? Could I fall in love without fear of hurting anyone? Could I be myself and be with my family? Is it even possible to live a normal life with this blood flowing through my veins? Will that ever be possible? I can’t stay here long, it’s already too dangerous, and he’s already got a hold on me.

Will I ever stop running? Will I ever be safe?

The only option I have now is to leave, to keep going, to separate myself from everyone I love or could love and hide.

Cole’s words swim through my head.

“Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to do what you love. What do you want most in this whole world?”

I didn’t have an answer for him, but now, soaked to the bone and standing outside my apartment, I realize what I want.

“I want to be free,” I whisper, the words tumbling from my trembling lips.

I can’t tell him why and he doesn’t ask. He just looks at me like he understands, like none of us are free. His hair is matted to his forehead, clear droplets of water dripping down onto his nose and mouth. His shirt clings to his toned chest and all of me just wants to bring him upstairs and dry him up. That’s what a normal girl would do.

“Why does the caged bird sing?” he asks, his eyes dark under the soft light of the building lobby.

“Because he’s safe?” I answer quickly, thinking maybe I was better in my cage in Freedom, safe from any harm.

But was I safe? They still found me and I still had to run. I’ll always have to run. If I were in a cage, that would just make it easier for them. I’ll never be safe.

“Because her heart is still free,” he says, his soft voice tingling the hairs on my ear.

I didn’t even notice him step closer to me. I can see every muscle beneath his shirt now, the fabric a part of his skin. I blink my eyes away from his chest and focus on the wall behind him.

“Just never forget that no one can control your heart Tave.”