Stay Beautiful.

The summer I turned fifteen wasn't all bad. I didn't just pine over Terry day in and day out. Summer days were spent at Stef's cottage, soaking the sun and the sights. And by sights, I mean the Carusi boys. I'm not one to be very picky with boys, but these ones, well, they were perfection. Eric, the oldest, had the body of a surfer and a smile to make you weak at the knees. Rob, the younger brother, was cute in a different way. He seemed more approachable, less god-like, but I liked them both. And that summer was just the beginning of my Carusi phase.


It's a good thing my sunglasses are blocking my eyes because if Eric could see how I'm looking at him right now, he'd definitely have something to say about it. he gets out of the water soaking wet and my eyes travel down his glistening chest. His swim trunks look like they'll fall off at any minute and I'm embarrassed just thinking about it. I force myself to look away. I'm too young to be thinking about things like that.

"So, who wants to get on my Sea-Doo first?" he asks, his eyes skimming over all of us.

"Oh! Me!" I exclaim, jumping from my towel a little too quickly.

My friends laugh at me but Eric doesn't seem to notice that nervous wreck I've become. Eric makes his way back over to the water and I follow, trying to make sure my nest of curly hair doesn't look as bad as I think it does. I stop behind him, his bare chest inches from my face. I could just reach out and touch it, pretend I lost my balance or something. He turns before I can think twice about it.

"I'll get on first, keep it steady for you."

All I can do is nod because he's never been this close to me before. He slips down the stairs and onto the floating jet ski. His eyes meet mine and I wonder what he's thinking. There isn't much to look at. I'm skin and bones and trying to hide it under a tankini. But he smiles and starts up the engine.

"Ok, whenever you're ready. Use me for balance if you need to."

"Ok." And yes, I will use you for balance.

As gracefully as I can muster, I climb onto the jet ski, delicately placing my hand on his shoulder for "balance". Before I know it, I'm sitting right behind him and about to venture into the middle of the lake alone with him.

"Put your arms around me."

Don't mind if I do.

As I slip my arms timidly around his waist, he pulls away from the dock and we're gone. The wind whips through my hair and I laugh as the cottage disappears behind us. The feeling is incredible and I never want to go back to shore. We circle around and he shows me some sights that I haven't seen yet like the super tall diving board and the island in the middle of the lake. Too soon, we are back at the cottage and everyone else takes their turns. But when everyone else is done, he offers me another. I take it without question and I get to relive the feeling of his skin against mine, if only for a little while.

I don't get any moments like that with Rob. We laugh and joke together and I feel more comfortable talking to him. At one point we go tubing together and his tube lands on top of mine. He hugs me when we get off because he feels bad and the hug makes everything better. The summer ends too quickly and I know I won't see the boys again until the weather is warm enough to sun bathe again.


September arrives and it all seems like a dream. I take my experiences from the summer and try to be more confident when I step into school that first day. This will be the year. I will fall in love for real. I will have my first kiss. I am brave enough to make a move. I open the door to the school, Eric's face in my mind, and hold my head high, looking for my next crush.