Superstar.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

He was so good looking it hurt. His blond hair and perfect smile were the thing of dreams. He belonged in movies. The All American Dreamboat (All Canadian Dreamboat?) He took boy crazy to another level.

Eric Sanderson.

Too shy to talk to him, but too deep to leave him alone. I felt confident behind a computer, so I decided to contact him that way. cutie_luvs_eric@hotmail.com I thought it clever. He wouldn't know my name or who I was and he'd fall for me without knowing I was the geeky flat chested girl with glasses that sat behind him in class. I sent him messages every day. He'd respond and my heart would flutter out of my chest. I thought I'd be confident enough to approach him and tell him it was me in the emails. I thought my dreams would come true. He wasn't the only crush I had in middle school. I could never have just one crush. Kevin Hutchinson caught my attention too and so did Tyler Snow. I may have had a chance with these two, but I had a chance in hell with Eric. He was the most popular boy in Grade 8. But I was never one to play it safe.

The moment came when I finally found the courage to tell him who I was. I wrote it in the email, hoping this would be it. Hoping he'd sweep me off my feet and ride off with me into the sunset. The Backstreet Boys wrote songs about this. This was love. This was perfect. He told me he already knew it was me. On the email account, I had added my name so every time I sent him an email, he knew it was me. He had always known. It didn't matter. He told me he wasn't interested, that I was a nice girl but he wasn't attracted to be. I couldn't blame him. I was in the most awkward stage of life and I didn't think I'd ever get out of it.

Heartbroken, I deleted the email account and moved on. I went to school the next day as though nothing had happened. I still watched him, a stalker doesn't forget her first prey. But there would be other boys to focus my attention on. Besides, I already liked Kevin and Tyler too. I would just watch them instead, dream of them instead, hope they'd talk to me instead. Eric was unreachable. He was a rockstar. A celebrity. So I put him on the pedestal with the other rockstars and watched him from afar, no longer trying to make contact.