Oh. He got over me fast, didn't he? He's already flirting with one of my best friends and she's flirting back. Hopefully nothing will come of it. Yes, I know I don't like him anymore, but I thought there were rules...
And now they're dating. They both asked my permission first (which was nice) but it's still really weird. I can't watch them together, knowing what he asked me to do and how our whole relationship went down. Should I warn her what kind of guy he is? Should I tell her that he's going to stick his tongue so far down her throat that she won't be able to breathe? Maybe it'll be for the best if I just stay out of this one...
So no more boys. Swore to myself that I'd stay away from anyone who batted an eyelash at me for a little bit. But, seriously, they're everyone. I still see (and think) of Terry all the time even though I know I shouldn't. The cutie in my biology class actually talks to me now and that just makes everything about science so much better. There's Mr. Popular who walks to class with me and our two minutes together every other day are so wonderful that they're all I think of. And there's a dance next week and I just keep remembering what happened at the semi where he told me he'd dance with me next time. Here's hoping he keeps good on his word. Oh wait, I'm swearing off boys aren't I?
None of them showed up. Life sucks in boyland right now an that's probably a good thing, but I can't stop thinking about them. It's like everyday I like someone new and I know I should try to be along right now, but time feels like it's running out. Yes, I know I'm 16 and time is surely not running out, but high school seems like such a huge thing and I want it to mean something. It's almost summer and I know things will so different when school ends. What will happen when I come back for grade 11? What does the future hold for me? Will I be willing to put myself back out there? I know I need to get over Kyle and move on. Maybe that's why I'm crushing so hard on so many boys. I just want that night out of my head and I think if I replace it with something else, I'll feel better. He's the only guy I've kissed and most of those kisses aren't good memories for me. What's next for me? How do I move on from the past and let myself be open again?
It's gorgeous outside so my brother and I walk over to Dominion. It's just down the street and we're a little hungry. As we're manoeuvring through the aisles, I spot a cute guy. He's wearing a uniform and stocking shelves and I think my heart skips a beat. Then he turns to us and smiles and I'd have fainted if I didn't want to embarrass myself.
"Bill! What's up?"
He knows my brother. Holy hell, he knows my brother!"
"Hey, Steve, didn't know you worked here. This is my sister, Jen."
"Nice to meet you," he says, extending his hand.
I take it in mine, hoping I'm not sweating. His grip is firm and his smile is bright and how badly I want to kiss him scares me. I let go and they stat talking. I just listen, laugh every once in awhile, all the while growing quickly fond of him. I'm in trouble.
So Steve is a Papa Roach fan and my brother told him we have tickets for the show next week. And. He's. Going. To. Come. With. Us. Which means, I get to spend the whole evening with him and get to know him better. Coby Dick and Steve? Could the night possibly get better than that?
There's no way that night could have been better. We had so much fun. Although, hanging out with three teenage boys can be kind of brutal, especially when they check out every girl they see. Good news is, my brother told me he caught Steve checking me out, so I guess it's not so bad. I got to know him pretty quickly and so far I really like him. Not that it's hard for me to crush on someone, but he seems like a good guy and my mind is totally off of Kyle now. The show was incredible and Steve ended up buying me a poster which I ended up getting signed. He paid a lot of attention to me and I felt, well, beautiful. It was a perfect night and I'm glad I got to spend it with my brother and my new crush.
So we got invited to Steve's party next week. Saying I'm excited is a bit of an understatement.
