Breaking Through.

So my computer crashed. So I lost my most recent novel and the one that I'm working on right now. I'm trying not to let this take me over. I'm trying to be strong and not cry. But it's hard. It's really hard. These stories, these are my babies, my life. my blood, sweat and tears. Yes I can re-write them but it won't be the same. We all know that. It won't be the same. It's all my fault, I'm not blaming anyone else. I have an external hard drive but I hadn't put these two on there. Thankfully, as I need to keep positive, I didn't lose any of my other ones because I had them all on my external drive. Starting all over is going to be hard. I'm going to see if I can get someone to get them off the drive but I'm trying not to be too hopeful. I'm trying to let it seep in that I may have lost them and will need to rewrite them. There are so many "what ifs" running through my mind and I'm trying to block them out. It doesn't matter if I did anything else because it's too late to fix it. There is no going back now.

There is a barrier in my life right now and I need to get past it. I need to open up Word and start writing and stop thinking about what could have been. The only thing to do is move forward. Push Jen, push through this.

Write on!

This story is possibly going to turn into a novel. So far it's 160 pages typed up and I still have so much more to add to it. The very idea of this makes my stomach flip with excitement. This is the longest story I've written and to me that is a huge accomplishment. Even if it never gets published, even if people don't like it, all that matters that I wrote that much. To me, writing stories is my life but sometimes I get antsy and want to get to the end as fast as possible. So I cut it short or skip some details just so that I can say it's done. But not with this one. With this one all I want to do is make it longer. All I want to do is make it a novel.

In other news, I've gotten a lot of great feedback for Fall Into Me on my writing site (at writing.com) and it's made me feel great. They tell me I'm a good writer and that it deserves to be published. Even though I've never met these people, their words mean the world to me. Their words make me realize that my writing is important and that I should keep doing it. I will keep doing it an one day it will be available in bookstores.

Writing.com

I've taken the next step in my writing. I've joined a writing website where I can post all my stories and get ratings and reviews from other members. It's a great site and there are a lot of tips and tricks to help with my writing. I enter contests on it all the time and even though they do not pay out in money, they pay out in gift points which can be used around the site. I've won a couple and I continue to use the contest prompts to explore my writing further and help me along. And I love it.

In other news, I've been writing a new story and so far it's pretty long and I'm not nearly done. It's a love story (as most of my stories are) with a little twist (as most of my stories do) It involves three characters: Veronica, Ethan and Emmy and is told from each of their perspectives. Each chapter is titled with their name so that you know whose voice you're hearing. Ethan and Emmy have a past and dated for quite a while until Ethan broke it off. Six months later and she has flown into his life again and he can't get her out of his head and maybe he doesn't want to. But he has recently met another girl, Veronica, and has just as much, if not more, chemistry with her. For a while he is involved with both of them but then he makes the choice and chooses Veronica. Unfortunately Emmy is not going away any time soon and she is not happy with Ethan's new found love. But how far will she go to get Ethan back?

Veronica is a dreamer who wants nothing more than to find her happy ending and overcome the fear of being hurt. She watched her parents' marriage fall apart before her eyes and she plays by certain rules to make sure that won't happen to her. Ethan is a musician torn between his past and his future and Emmy is an actress ready to play any part she needs to in order to get what she wants most. And what she wants is her own happy ending.

I'm really excited for this story. I've been writing it every day and I'm already so attached to the characters. I have faith that it will turn out well. I've also been reading a lot which is important to me because the more I read, the more I know what publishers are looking for in novels. And I'm getting there and one day I will be there. I have no doubt in that.