Night Reprieve. (Except)

I've had this idea for a contemporary roaring through me for months now, but I haven't been writing very much lately. Here's a scene I wrote for it, i'm hoping this makes me want to keep writing. 

There was only one way to make this night better. Even when Ollie and I were dating, I still needed this solace before bed, this time alone where I could just be. My head’s been pounding all day, this hangover threatening to never leave me, and I know I should try to get some sleep because tomorrow at school will be brutal with or without a headache. If I thought it was bad last week, I know this week will be worse. The cat’s out of the bag: Ollie is dating Beth. It’s out there, flashing lights surrounding them. You don’t show up to a party with a girl if you don’t want people to know about you two. It was a statement, one that he knew I would see. It’s not that I thought there was any chance of us getting back together. Heck, I don’t think any part of me even wants to be with him (okay, that’s a lie, there’s a little part of me that misses the crap out of him) but seeing him with Beth has made it brutally clear. He’s over me, he’s moved on, and tomorrow with be the first official day of them as a couple. It’ll be him replacing me and everyone will continue whispering about me. I was hoping that would stop soon, now I know that was only wishful thinking.

I pry my contacts out of my eyes; thankful for the empty feeling it brings me. My house is quiet, everyone asleep and preparing for tomorrow. Cuddling into my favourite sweatshirt, I unhook the lock on my window and push it open. Cool air welcomes me onto my widow’s peak, and I crawl onto the worn wood with glee. Crossing my feet beneath me, I close my eyes and let the wind whip my hair around my face, clearing my mind and reminding me that not everything has to be about school. Jacob constantly reminds me that high school is only four years of my life. He thinks he’s so wise now that he’s in college, but I guess he would know better than me. I’m sure once I’m out of here and in New York, I’ll agree with him, but for now, in this scary moment where I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I can’t imagine a world where people don’t talk behind your back, or betray you, or use your words against you.

When the wind starts to chill me through my clothes, I climb back inside and lock up tight. Shuffling over to my door, I turn off my overhead light and turn on the small bedside light beside my bed. I tuck myself under my blankets, letting my body temperature return to normal and my heartbeat slow down. Grabbing my copy of The Great Gatsby, I forget about the world, school, and especially Ollie and lose myself to other people’s problems. I drown in the book, dive into the pages and forget that I need air to breathe. I don’t come up until I’m ready for dead and my eyes are growing tired. Even as I grow closer to see, I think of Gatsby and what he would do to make all his dreams come true.